Hello Buckeyes!
With another football season in full swing, I thought it only appropriate to gather all of our favorite football forwards in one place to share and enjoy. So here are some that I have received as of late in the spirit of Buckeye football!
Michigan Still Sucks: http://www.scottkropko.com
Ache for OSU soothed in New York: http://www.dispatch.com
THE
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Hopelessly devoted
In countless ways,
Detail work by tattoo artist Ron Bradshaw at his shop Sink and Ink, on
The signs are virtually everywhere — in the community, online, on television and elsewhere:
With the team opening its 2006 season today, we sought to measure the frenzy.
SWEET ANTICIPATION
Gary and Sue Runyon wanted to make sure they got to the game today in plenty of time.
So the Ironton couple — and dog Yogi, dressed in a Buckeyes jersey — parked their recreational vehicle at 10 a.m. to start tailgating for the 3:30 p.m. kickoff.
As in 10 a.m. Friday.
DESIRABLE DECOR
The biggest buzz during the 2006 Parade of Homes?
Buckeye rooms.
"The calls I received for my Buckeye room outnumbered the others 10-to-1," said Kim Trautman, an interior designer for
The other OSU room showcased during the annual event — this year in
Home decor is among the fastest-growing segments of OSU merchandise, said Rick Van Brimmer, head of trademark and licensing services for the university.
Among the new products: four OSU house paints (scarlet, gray, white and black) from Glidden.
VIDEO JUNKIES
Anybody can study game films now: Videographers are sharing their highlight reels with the world.
This week, the online venue http://www.youtube.com/ yielded 137 clips with tantalizing titles such as Ohio State Owns
Shaun Baskin of
"It gets in your blood," said Baskin, 27. "It’s almost like a cult. When you’re part of the crowd, it’s like a shot of crack."
SKIN - DEEP DEVOTION
Some fans profess their everlasting love with permanence: They get tattoos.
Evolved, a parlor near the OSU campus, will create as many as five a week during the season.
The most popular designs: Brutus Buckeye and Block O.
The most popular canvases: ankle, bicep and calf.
HOME - GAME HIKE
A room in the thick of the action will cost you.
Still, Holiday Inn on the Lane rarely struggles to find fans willing to pay the price.
On weekends that OSU plays in
"We could probably charge more," said Fred Harris, general manager, "but we don’t want to be accused of price-gouging."
WORTHWHILE GOAL
Free tickets for an OSU game can be a mighty motivator.
And now Gene Smith, the athletics director, is paying up.
During a February visit to
And plenty did just that.
Those 106 third-, fourth- and fifth-graders — along with the principal and chaperons — will cheer today in Ohio Stadium.
FIRM FRIENDSHIP
At an all-time high, membership in the OSU Alumni Association tops the population of
The ranks have steadily increased since 1996, when the club had 110,000 signed up.
Total scholarship money raised by members in fiscal 2005-06: $856,000.
HOPPED - UP SALES
Hoist one for the Bucks; everyone else probably will.
On home-game Saturdays, Hill Distributing of the
According to Charlie Hill Jr., owner and chairman of the beerand-wine company: "I can look at my sales and tell you whether we were home or away, won or lost, played early or late."
INTERNET MARKETPLACE
A quick search of eBay confirms the adage "Buckeye fans will buy anything Buckeye."
With the key words "
With 869 items for sale, OSU outscored
ONLINE OBSESSION
• Football is king.
The Buckeyes-centered Web site run by John Porentas has proved as much during its 10-year history.
With OSU mania building in August, http://www.the-ozone.net/ enjoyed its best month to date (6 million page views) and set a site record for page views (522,100) — on Aug. 22, the day after a football practice lured 28,000 nuts to Ohio Stadium. (OK, maybe the pre-practice autograph session had something to do with it, too.)
• What a difference three years makes.
Another OSU sports-news site, http://www.bucknuts.com/, has seen its list of paid subscribers (parts of the online venue offer free access) grow from 1,400 to 5,200.
Another telling stat: 40,000 users are registered to post messages there.
• Gas prices. Storms. Wars.
Online interest in news events often pales in comparison with the need to inhale everything about the Buckeyes.
During the past week, OSU stories on Dispatch.com drew 240,000 page views.
News stories during the same period: 70,000.
LICENSE LOYALTY
This one’s too easy:
Among the 25 colleges for which specialty license plates are sold in
The more surprising fact: the size of the gap between OSU and No. 2 University of Cincinnati (18,065 plates vs. 2,191).
Among the 100-plus specialty plates in
The top two: Cardinal (35,196) and
Dear Abby
I am a crack dealer in
My parents live in a suburb of
marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in
sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in
look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be
totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a
Signed, Worried About My Reputation
A farmer outside of
Amazed, he put the calf in the truck and drove the animal to a vet in
particularly excited.
"Man, this is unbelievable! How can you stand there and not be amazed?" the farmer asked. The vet, a third generation
Buckeye Rules to live by. It must be football season!
*Never agree to get married on a
*Never attend a wedding during an
*It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old....and fat....and bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on backwards, sit in the "Huntington Club" seats and repeatedly spill stuff on anyone named "Chas" or "Muffy." (Make sure you do so early and often because they'll be long gone by the end of the third period). Maybe some "real" fans will take their seats.
*Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O." This is true even during funerals, sex, in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth of your child.
*When driving on I-75 during spring break season (March through April), every fifth vehicle you see with
*When Notre Dame plays
*You cannot have a second favorite football team behind OSU. You are permitted to have another team (non-Big Ten or ND) that you hate less than the others.
*It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
-Script Ohio
-Your child's first Buckeye game
-Carmen Ohio
-During a Tressel speech
-Listening to "What I Want"
-Remembering Woody
-After beating Michigan
-Winning the National Championship
-Hearing Brett Musberger exclaim,"Holy Buckeye!"
-When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE"
University.
-Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
-Ramp entrance
*It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he is watching games with Woody.
*Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day from the time you leave your place of abode until you return.
*Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.
*Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over
*Once your children attain age ten, they should be allowed to say "F" Michigan but only during game day in your presence.
*Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.
*ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.
*We must all pray that the next president of OSU has more of a clue than the present one.
*When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia with you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick something stupid).
*You must be willing to die to defend your right to drink beer during tailgates.
*You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe Pa is still a "good guy." In reality, he is a bitter, senile old man reduced to a cheerleader and referee-baitor. His credibility went south forever when he hired Galen "Cheatin" Hall to resurrect his sorry football program.
*Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at risk.
*Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.
*When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one of your blessings.
*Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.
*Correct anyone who doesn't refer to OSU as "THE"
*When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments with a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is very cool.
*Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i." You'd even be willing to put on a few dozen pounds to look the part.
*You would not trade the opportunity to swill beer while listening to the Danger Brothers after an OSU victory over
*It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them even when OSU doesn't win the NC.
*Scarlet and Gray always works. Maize and Blue is always gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
*Drinking alcohol before 9:00 am is, at best, immature, and likely a sign of a serious problem. Except on game day.
*It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless he is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to Buckeye football.
*There are no bad seats in Buckeye Stadium.
*If you attend a game at
*If your wife asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit the truth that it was January 3, 2003. Sex isn't as important or rewarding as that NC.
*Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard.
*Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with a
*It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to cheer when the plume touches the field.
*Be thankful beer is not sold during the game. It leaves more room for HineyGate.
*In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be practiced at all times by all Buckeyes.
GO BUCKS!!!
